A Word on Last Words

The past few months, there seems to have been a lot of talk about 'getting your affairs in order'... Life insurance policies, wills, estate beneficiaries, both from parents and grandparents. It's definitely a new experience for me - the discomfort and vagaries that accompany conversations regarding death, mixed in with the necessity and responsibility of being prepared and aware of what's going on... Clearly not an everyday topic of discussion!

It seems to have spurred on some reflections in my own life as well. After all, I'm a human too. And I am going to die someday, even if I don't want to think about it or accept it. And, at least while sitting comfortably on the couch in my quiet, safe living room, the thought doesn't really scare me all that much. It hasn't really scared me since I first fully understood salvation:

I've made mistakes, just like every other person alive. Heaven is perfect, and so is God. There is nothing an imperfect being can do to make their way into heaven - heaven wouldn't be heaven if it were full of sinners. But God wants us to be there - desperately! And so He came down in the form of Jesus and took our place. As a perfect man, he undertook the death penalty that had been [justly] sentenced to every imperfect man, taking the place of every single person that willingly allows Him to do so - 'Jesus, I've messed up. There's no way around it - even when I try my best, I'm not perfect and I never will be. Thank You for willingly taking my place - I owe You my life. It is yours.' And just as Christ takes our place at the guillotine, we take His place as children of God. Among other things, this assures us that we will be welcomed into heaven when we die.

Part of me always thinks, why worry about it? I can't stop it, no matter what I do. And no matter how terrible, how painful it may be, this life is a mere speck compared to the eternity that follows. Light and momentary afflictions... Besides, it's the very last obstacle between me and my happily ever after... That should make it at least somewhat bearable, right?! Granted, I'm sure logic won't be quite as comforting when I'm actually facing death in the face...

But I don't think that's quite enough... Getting over my fears (at least temporarily) is a good thing, but we are also called to be good stewards, and in all aspects of life (or death). So I found myself asking the question, 'What affairs do I need to get in order so that I'm prepared when my time comes?' Financially, that's a pretty easy question when you have no real assets - the loan companies are very good at figuring out who the debt falls to ;)

So if my finances are in order, what's left? No wife, no kids, not even a goldfish at this point (perhaps someday I'll be responsible enough to keep one alive for more than a month). What other gifts do I have to leave people when I'm gone? Hmm... I know! Encouragement.

Hence, 'Last Words'. I don't think it's selfish to assume my family would have a hard time for awhile should something happen to me, and pretty much the only thing I could do to help them out at that point is to have something prepared beforehand - like a letter.

Imagine P.S. I Love You, except less romantic. And where I look better than Gerard Butler.

I've only got a few written so far, and I have no idea how many I'll write. Or if I'll decide to write new ones every so often. Who knows?? But I have to admit, I've rather enjoyed the process. It's been difficult, for sure! But I think a lot of good can come from asking yourself, 'If I were to leave this person with one last message, what are the most important things I would tell them? What would be a good note to end on?' I find it brings a lot of vision and clarity to my relationships - how can I encourage this person, what do I need to apologize for, how have they blessed me in a way that no one else has, what experiences did we bond over the most, what truths do they need to be reminded of, how will they remember me... Like I said, difficult. But good.

Clearly Last Words are far too personal to post on a blog, but I thought it'd be safe to share the process. And maybe provide encouragement for anyone else in the mood to reflect.

Here's praying that no one has to read them for a very, very long time....