Optimism

I spent the last week in Canada on a trip for work. Plenty of people have asked about it, and I find myself torn between the following two stories...

Story 1:

The trip was great! It was new and exciting, and I'd never been to Ottawa before. We worked directly with a satellite (awesome!), and it was cool having to go through security check-ins and air-lock chambers and everything. The company covered all costs, and I put in plenty of hours, so I'm really looking forward to my next paycheck!! We ate at some cool restaurants, had great food, and Jeff and I got to know each other quite a bit better. We even got some praise from some of the program managers and the work that we'd done! It was quite the unique experience!

Story 2:

It was a tough week. First off, there were storms in Chicago, so we were delayed on the runway in Minneapolis for 3 hours. By the time we got there, they had cancelled our flight, and the next one was already full. We had to spend the night in Chicago, and finish our trip Monday morning. So we missed out on our first half day of work, and showed up tired and frustrated. We put in 10-13 hour days, finishing just in time to grab some dinner and go to bed, only to wake up again the next day and do it again. The work was tiring, because we had to climb ladders/scaffolding, trying to balance/hang on while working around delicate, multi-million dollar equipment. Inevitably by the end of the day you went home with a sore back and neck. The worst part was not having internet access and not wanting to pay international phone rates. So other than Jeff (the other engineer), the week went by without any contact with anyone I knew. It was both lonely and depressing.


Crazy. Especially because both stories are essentially true. Yet I have the choice of which one to share, which way I want to spin it. Even which way I want to look back on it... The good stuff or the bad stuff. And I think it matters, a lot actually. Maybe this one specific time it doesn't make a huge difference. But we're given the same choices over and over again every day - choose to reflect on, define ourselves by, and be affected by either the good things or the bad. And as we repeatedly choose one side or the other in retrospect, it begins to shape our expectations as well. By saying that Story 1 was more the more accurate depiction, that those specific events had the more significant impact on me, that Story 1 was the truer side of it, I'm inherently going to be more excited about my next work trip. Or the converse - stick with Story 2, and I'm definitely going to dread the next time Jeff and I step onto an airplane together.

So if we choose to stick with Story 1 often enough, our futures become something we hope for, long for, and await with excitement. We are optimistic about the things to come. Or go with Story 2, and hoping and longing transform into anxiety and dread - the birth of pessimism.

So what is it that causes us to choose one over the other?? Clearly circumstances play some part in it. If, on my trip, I fell off a ladder and broke my back, I'd have a very hard time choosing Story 1. Conversely, if at the hotel I had meant an adoreable Canadian girl with an elegant French accent and found myself in a Quebecois chapel placing a ring on her finger, I'd probably have a hard time remembering anything that would belong in Story 2. Even so, I think there's always some element of choice, despite circumstances. And so, how do we get ourselves to go with Story 1?

Because lately.... it's been significantly harder to choose Story 1.

Any ideas???

"...When it comes to the past, we all stack the deck."

- Stephen King, Duma Key