One of my favorite chapters was called The Problem of Kittens: Cuteness and Beauty. It hit exceptionally close to the heart - I've found another soul with the same insatiable desire for what's real. In conveying his tendency to get caught up and taken away by life, he reveals a bit of personal insight:
'When I stand at the top of a cliff, I have no fear of falling accidentally. I fear that I will jump.'
It isn't a desire to end his life that compels him to jump, but rather a desire to live his life to the fullest - desiring to take on the impossible face to face or wanting to experience the rush of free-falling towards the earth or for a brief moment truly believing he can fly. He doesn't specify exactly, but I know - for I have also stood atop a cliff and thought, 'What if...'
My take on his argument for the real is as follows - kittens are cute. So are butterflies, rainbows, and my girlfriend (it's true!). Cockroaches are not cute - in fact, they are ugly, dirty, and creepy-crawly. Just like small rodents and used car salesmen. And yet they both exist in our world, side by side. Furthermore, both are here intentionally, both have a part to play, both were created. By God.
I've written on reality before. It's something that stirs deep within me, a longing to match what I feel on the inside with what I see in the world around me. And as I look out at the world from this complex carbon shell, I get a sense that we are being nudged, expected, required to take in the bad with the good, and that we don't have any other choice.
I suck at it - I'm much better at running from one camp to the other. Sunsets, new favorite playlists, hugs, Bubble Tea - this is God. He is real and He is here. But didn't He also invent clouds that both bring the rain and obstruct the view, batteries that need recharging, bacteria that keep you healthy but make your armpits stink, tapioca-induced indigestion? Yes! Or, if these creations are not His, to whom do they belong? Is Satan somehow more powerful than we thought, a sort of lesser-but-still-Co-Creator? I think not.
War, famine, disease, pain, despair are in the other camp, another line of thought not altogether unfamiliar. Where is God? Why is He hiding? Does He not know there is evil about?? Sacrifice, generosity, healing, hope. Love. These things are good, created by God. Would they hold the same value if we never experienced their counterparts? Are they worth the trade-off?? I'm but a simple blogger; these questions deserve to be asked of someone far wiser than I.
What I feel, what I see, what I experience, I can't make sense of these things from a non-Biblical view. Buddha was wise. Shall I follow him? Withdraw from this world, turn inward, reflect, release all desires in order to live in harmony, one with the universe. Yes, I'm all for getting along! Yes, personal reflection is beneficial and necessary! But what of passion? Of love?? They can be fierce, fighting against the tides. And the more I look inward, the more fatal flaws I find. Not even a lifetime of introspection (were such a thing to exist - what about working, caring for others, necessary distractions of life?) would be enough to work them out. Perhaps Buddha knew this as well - we will never root out all the bad desires and motives within us, so let's just detach ourselves from everything altogether (in the name of unity, of course).
Perhaps submission would be a more appropriate approach. 'I am God, you are a pile of termite dung. Take what I give you.' It's a good attempt at getting right the orders of magnitude between Creator and created. But what of intimacy, love, personal interaction? Would God sit so high above, distant and detached, content to dole out punishment and reward with no explanation, no interaction, simply an equal demand of both recipients to be worshiped? If so, then why would He instill in us such burning desires to reach out, connect, influence one another? I cannot picture an emotionless, detached, stuck-up artist painting a picture so easily capable of moving me to tears. Surely such a Creator would tend towards the dull, using only shades of grey to make empty landscapes and boring rocks!
No. This world was not drawn on an Etch-a-Sketch; this is the work of an Artist involved, caught up in His work, tattooed in rainbow streaks and blotches of color as He wildly and perfectly brings His finger-paintings to life!
What options are left?? Polytheism, perhaps? A free-for-all between who knows how many gods? Or a simple, balanced one-on-one between the Good God and the Evil one? We could head the opposite direction - rather than adding gods, subtract them. Atheism. My answer to both is the same - hope. If there is no God, or if there are many of them and they're all stuck in a deadlock (they're all immortal, after all!) with no final Victor or Loser, what's the point? What is there to look forward to? And why then has optimism persisted for so many millenia? The two seem equally dreadful to me. Besides, I've never been inspired (hold the guilt, please) by an atheist to feed the hungry.
The Bible. It is beautiful - romantic strolls through the garden. Song of Songs. Psalms. Miracles. It is scary - slaughter. Incest. Evil. Ezekiel's pornographic imagery (even after 17th century Greek grad students made their best attempts to clean things up during translating). This is no bedtime story for children. Or is it?? I believe it is. Protect your child, keep him safe while he is entrusted to you. But remember your role. He will die someday; you can't prevent that. Just like you can't prevent him from experiencing tragedy, hardship, pain. Do not lie to him - do not make the world out to be perfect! It is not. Equip him, prepare him, teach him about life - real life. Read him the Bible - it is REAL.
A God that loves us so much He is willing to become one of us, to die for us? Perhaps that's not what you wanted - 'A God who is human? One that didn't save Himself from the cross? That's not a God worth having.' Perhaps from our perspective you are right - in the eyes of the world, Christ is a letdown. Even so, He is beautiful. And He is REAL.
N.D. Wilson was at the Desiring God conference this weekend and I got to hear him talk about some of this stuff. I'm excited to read the book too!
ReplyDelete